Charting your Course: How to live a Values Driven Family Life
In a world that's constantly pulling us in different directions, it's easy to lose sight of what truly matters. Living a values-driven life provides a compass, guiding our decisions and actions, and bringing a sense of purpose and fulfillment. And when a family unit operates from a shared set of values, the bond strengthens, and everyone feels more grounded.
Purpose vs. Values: What's the Difference?
While often used interchangeably, purpose and values are distinct concepts. Purpose is the "why" behind what you do. It's the overarching reason you exist, your ultimate contribution to the world. It's a big-picture, long-term vision. Values, on the other hand, are the "how" that guides you on your journey to fulfilling your purpose. They are the principles that shape your behavior, the moral compass that directs your daily actions. Think of it this way: your purpose is the destination, and your values are the road map.
Identifying Your Family Values: A Collaborative Journey
Discovering your family's core values is a collaborative process that should involve every member, even the little ones (with some age-appropriate adjustments, of course!). Here's how to embark on this journey:
Brainstorm Individually: Have each family member individually list what they consider to be important qualities in life. What principles do they hold dear? What kind of person do they strive to be? For younger children, you can use pictures or simple words.
Share and Discuss: Gather as a family and share your lists. Discuss what resonates with everyone and look for common themes. Are there values that appear on multiple lists? Are there any values that spark a lively debate? This discussion is crucial for understanding each other's perspectives.
Narrow It Down: Aim for a manageable number of core values – typically 5-7. Too many values can become overwhelming and difficult to remember. Work together to narrow down the list to the most important principles that represent your family's identity.
Define and Clarify: Once you've identified your core values, define what each one means to your family. For example, "respect" might mean listening to each other, valuing different opinions, and treating everyone with kindness. Clarity is key to ensuring everyone is on the same page.
Write It Down: Formalize your family values by writing them down. This creates a tangible reminder of what you stand for as a family.
Living Your Values: From Words to Actions
Identifying your family values is just the first step. The real challenge lies in integrating them into your daily lives. Here are some tips:
Make it Visible: Create a visual representation of your family values. This could be a framed list, a family crest, or even a piece of artwork (more on this below!). Having your values front and center serves as a constant reminder.
Talk About It: Regularly discuss your family values. Bring them up during family meetings, dinner conversations, or even casual car rides. Ask each other how you're living up to your values and identify areas for improvement.
Model the Behavior: Parents, you are the primary role models for your children. Demonstrate your family values in your own actions and interactions. Children learn by observing, so be the embodiment of the values you want to instill.
Celebrate Successes: Acknowledge and celebrate when family members demonstrate your shared values. Positive reinforcement encourages continued adherence to these principles.
Use Teachable Moments: When conflicts arise or mistakes are made, use them as opportunities to discuss your family values. How could the situation have been handled differently? How can you learn from the experience and better live your values in the future?
DIY Family Values Art Project: A Constant Reminder
This project connects directly to the idea of your environment shaping your success. By having your values prominently displayed, you're creating a space that reinforces your family's commitment to those principles.
Materials: A large canvas or piece of wood, paint, markers, stencils (optional), family photos (optional), and any other decorative elements you like.
Process:
Prepare the Canvas: Paint the canvas with a base color that complements your home decor.
Add Your Values: Use stencils or freehand lettering to write your family values on the canvas. Make them the focal point of the artwork.
Personalize It: Incorporate family photos, drawings, or other elements that represent your family's unique identity. You can even create a family crest or motto.
Display It Proudly: Hang your finished artwork in a prominent location in your home, such as the entry way, living room or family room, where everyone can see it regularly.
By actively engaging in the process of identifying, defining, and living your family values, you create a strong foundation for a happy, healthy, and fulfilling family life. It's a journey worth taking, a legacy worth building.
